I read the dangdest thing this week. Also, is dangdest a word? I digress. What I read was a post that said, “Two steps forward plus one step backwards still equals progress.” I believe that is a direct quote, and for the life of me I cannot remember where I read it or who wrote/posted it. That in itself is not surprising because I have been in a medicine-induced walking fog since Sunday afternoon when I could deny no longer that I was under the weather and sliding further under fast.
So….that is the perfect title for this post which in some ways is an update 13 days in on how I am doing on my goals for 2018. Also, for whatever this is worth….I am finding that sometimes….you have to go to the source of something to understand it….
Headwaters of the Arkansas River, Salida, Colorado
Oddly enough my last post was about my number two goal for 2018, my health and getting healthy (holistically) meaning in all aspects. It was time to bring everything full-circle. So one week in I am feeling like a complete BEAST rocking it all and then I go down with some type of cold/flu/stomach combo that left me dragging through each day (because life and work don’t stop for illness) and has landed me here this Saturday morning determined to get rested and restored so that I can get fully back on track starting tomorrow. That said, my new food choices remained intact even through illness, though I struggled to eat breakfast a few mornings due to simple loss of appetite. Bottom line, I remained steady throughout the week, and I am proud of that. I skipped the gym all week not wanting to share (or have others share their) germs, but I tried to walk to work and move physically as much as my body would allow under the conditions. My energy is still high (even with being sick), and I am shocked out how much I am getting done. So…all in all, I am feeling pretty good and have already submitted my grocery order via Kroger’s ClickList this morning to pick up later today and it is full of nothing but the good stuff and some extra varieties of organic juices because I need to amp up the antioxidants and Vitamin C in me (clearly).
Also, it cannot be said enough that I find Kroger’s ClickList the very essence of LIFE and have zero idea how I have been living without it. What a timesaver PLUS it is a lot easier to make healthy choices when you just click them and pick them up. No scanning the aisles of the store mindlessly. So….that is my ringing endorsement.
I have a private project that I am working on this year (it is my #3 of my top three goals for the year) and I had another setback with it this week as the project is currently being held hostage by the firm I hired to work on stage two of it. They are now delaying my partners in the project (at worst) and at best they are forcing us to now work under different timelines which might be okay, but right now we are unsure. Either way, dealing with them has become the second worst customer service experience of my life (second to the Rubicon fiasco of 2011 which some of my readers might remember). I am hoping this upcoming week they will finish the last of the work they started on for me in August 2017, but I dare hope. I know that I hate holding people up, but I also hate being taken advantage of….so I am wrestling with the whole situation and it is ugly. My goal in 2018 is not to let others actions cause me to lose my temper, and this week has certainly tested that goal to the very edge.
Holy Spirit Come.
On a happier note, I have a new financial planner that I engaged last year to help me get all of my ducks in a row (oh for the days years ago when they were) AGAIN because LIFE happens and entrepreneurship will take your finances on a tilt-a-whirl ride for sure and THEN there is the drippings everywhere post #threeyearpurgefest so last year I started working on this goal and this year is when I get it done. Promise. I need everything under one umbrella of management, organized, and a working plan in place. I am excited to finally have everything delivered to my advisor, so now we just have to finalize the plan and then it is just setting everything up on autopilot. If only all of my goals for 2018 were going to be so easy to knock out.
What I anticipate to being one of my favorite goals for the year is a project I am birthing nearly two years after being given the idea. The Honeycomb Podcast will be launched sometime in the next 30 days (hopefully by the end of January) if everything works out, and I am most excited about this because it will highlight the stories of those I love and admire most around the world who are saying hard yeses to God and surviving to tell the tale (so to speak). There is a lot more backstory and information to come on that….so I don’t want to spoil it. Hang tight.
In January 2017 I wrote about my straggling list. You can read about it HERE, and there are additional links embedded in that post you can click on and read. There is also something to be said for just doing a search of my blog under “straggling list” to see multiples posts I have written, especially in 2017, about my challenge with it. They certainly have defined my life in many ways the past two years since completing the #threeyearpurgefest AND I am a little over it. To say the least.
I cannot begin to express here my deep desire for tying up these loose ends and straggling items that have held me hostage for so very long. There is freedom on the other side, and maybe for the very first time, I can taste a sampling of that freedom. Like a drop of water being placed on the end of the tongue of dying man. You can still feel that LIFE and all it represents…for just the briefest of moments. Not to add more drama to that visualization, but there is a beautiful song As It Is (In Heaven) by Hillsong Worship that puts me in a full state of worship every single time I hear it. My heart starts to float up as the bridge begins. It is breathtaking.
I sat my laptop down yesterday after finishing the above….I cannot remember what exactly happened that initially distracted me, but I never picked it back up (until this morning). I got another five boxes shipped out yesterday…donations and items that I needed to return to people from projects long ago. I then decided to take myself to the movies. I have to admit that at 46, I believe that might be the first time I have ever gone to the movies alone (except when I worked in a theater in college). It was fine. The movie was good. I then went to the gym and killed a couple of miles before sitting in the sauna for 20 minutes (in an attempt to finish sweating out this ick) and then to pick up my groceries (again…ClickList by Kroger is a gamechanger for my life). A day full of normal activities, but lets be clear….normal always feels anything but to me.
I am working on content, but yet still trying to take baby steps into this year of living differently from the inside out. Everything feels a little off. Not bad, just off.
I think the point for all of us is that adjusting to a new normal is just that…an adjustment. Don’t beat yourself up that for every two steps forward, you take one back (or more). What is important is that you do the work every day…you quite simply KEEP. DOING. THE. WORK….you keep trying. I have always said that it takes 27 days to break or create a habit (so six weeks if it is a business/work habit as there are only 20 business days in a month). The truth is that it is more like 18 - 254 days (depending). 254!?!?!?! Well, that changes everything for me. EVERYTHING. I need to pace myself. Be kind to myself. Patience.
Maybe you do too.
So….every day. One foot in front of the other. All we need to focus on is the next first step…when we get to 9 months (also the time it takes to grow a baby)…lets assess what habits we have kicked and what new healthy habits we have made our own.
This is where it all began for me. A simple blog started back in 2011 has led to all of this. I consider my writing the place where God and I get real with each other. My process is a little odd in that I don’t prep as much as I sit down and just let the Holy Spirit take over the keyboard. The process is HOLY and offering all of it up to a world that judges so harshly….well that feels vulnerable and terrifying. Yet, this is where God and I work it all out, and I share because other writers shared their stories with me. That is what we do…we pass down our stories to each other like breadcrumbs. We are all in this together.